It was not my destiny (Ghalib in translation)

Yeh na thi hamari kismat ke visaley yaar hota
Agar aur jeetey rehte, yahi intezaar hota

Tere vade par jiye hum, toh yeh jaan, jhoot jana
Ke khushi se mar na jaatey, agar aitbaar hota

Koie mere dil se poochchey tere teere neemkash ko
Yeh khalish kahaan se hoti, jo jigar ke paar hota

Yeh kahaan ki dosti hain ke baney hain dost, naseh
Koi chaarasaaz hota, koi ghamgusaar hota

Huey markey hum jo rusva, huey kyoon na gharke dariya
Na kabhi janaaza utatha, na kahin mazaar hota

--Mirza Ghalib

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Literal translation

It was not in my fate that I should meet my lover
If I had continued living, the same anticipation would have existed

That I am living because of your promise, then know this to be untrue
I would not have died so happily, if I had any faith in you

If somebody asks my heart about your half drawn arrow
Where would this prick (or sting) come from, if it (the arrow) had crossed my heart

What kind of friendship is this that my friends have become strangers
Someone would have been healers, someone would be confidantes

Why have I died so notorious, why did I not drown in the river
Never would my funeral (coffin) have been lifted, never would there have been a tomb

-Gautam Nadkarni

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Another version

It wasn’t my destiny, else with my beloved I’d have been
Were I to live longer, still waiting for her, I’d have been

That I’ve been living because of you, forget this. This isn’t true
If I had faith in you, dead in happiness long ago I’d have been

Let someone ask my heart about your half-drawn arrow
Had it pierced my heart, no stinging in it would have been

What’s this friendship that my friends have become strangers?
I wish some as healers others as confidantes would have been

I was disgraced on death. Why didn’t I drown myself in a river?
Neither a funeral-procession nor a tomb there would have been

-Ravi Kopra

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Is Love  the beginning of the knowledge of separation and the desire for union ?

Putting in own words – poet’s precious thought :

It was not my destiny that I would be united with my beloved
The longing to meet would have been there till my last breath

If I said I lived trusting you would keep your promise, that would be a lie..
If I had complete faith, would I not have died of happiness from such conviction

It was not my destiny that I would be united with my beloved..

If someone had asked my heart about your arrow that now pierces it half-way,
Its only regret is that, had it gone in all the way through,
there would be no pain at all.

It was not my destiny that my existence will not be possible without my beloved

What is this friendship, that friends had to be estranged ?
A true friend is a confidante and a reliever of sorrows.

It was not my destiny that I would be one with my beloved

Why was I dishonored by death ?
I would rather have drowned in a river.
No funeral procession would have taken place
Nowhere would there be a tomb to remember me.

It was not my destiny that my identity will be inseparable from my beloved

-Roshmi Bhaumik

Link to the song Yeh na thi hamari kismat – by Jagjit Singh 

A beautiful love song by Durga Sen

I and my friend from my college had gone out to eat Chinese food along with our family members. At the end of our meal, I found an interesting message in my fortune cookie. It said, “that special someone loves to see the light in your eyes.” It catapulted me get into a romantic mood. After dinner, we all took a walk in the Pearl Street Mall. All in all, I was excited and simply in a great mood.

When we came back home, I remembered that another friend of mine had requested me to join a social networking site. So I got online and somehow came across these Bengali words “Tumi ashbe bole” ( which translates to “because you will come”) in her collection of favorite videos. I suddenly remembered a song I had heard from my mother long time ago. She had mentioned to me that the music and the lyrics of the song was by Durga Sen, a well known Bengali music director in 1940s. My mother, during her teenage years, had gotten vocal training under from him.

I sat down and tried to remember and was happily surprised that I could remember the whole song. I recollected that I had always found the song very difficult to sing but its lyrics and music were extremely romantic and had always touched my heart. I wondered in my mind, if my mom still remembered the song.

As if I could do telepathy, something magical happened. The phone in the kitchen rang and the call was from my mother. She was just calling to see how I was doing. She was delighted when I sang to her that song. She confessed that she had completely forgotten about it. “No one remembers these songs anymore and the man who wrote it has also passed away long ago,” she observed sadly. However, she was indeed happy that I remembered it and asked me to write it down before we forget it. I thought, I will not only write the Bengali lyrics but also its meaning in English so that my daughter can also understand and perhaps remember this song, someday.

Bengali:

Tumi ashbe bole shara bela duar khule rakhi..tumi ashbe bole.
Pradip hoye jage je tai amar byakul akhi…tumi ashe bole.
Bhromor eshe gaaner chhole, tomar kothai gelo bole,
tai phule phule mor angina-r dhula gechhey dhaki..tumi ashbe bole.
Amar mon bolechhey ashbe tumi go..shyamali shandhaye,
chander alo porbe jakhon rajanidandhaye,
Takhon je mor mono-horon, gaane gaane korbo boron
Tomar hate prem diye mor badhbo ranga rakhi..tumi ashbe bole.

English Meaning:

Because you will come to me , I wait all day with my door open…because you will come to me.
Like candles burning, my impatient eager eyes are awake…because you will come to me.
The bees, under the disguise of their songs, have cleverly communicated your news to me.
Hence, so many flowers have blossomed in my yard and have completely hidden any dust that had existed… all in preparation for your arrival.
My heart says that you will come in the dark beauty of the evening, when the moonlight falls on the lovely white tuberoses.
At that time, (my love,) the one that has stolen my heart, I will welcome you with my song. Expressing all my love, we will create an everlasting bond ….because eventually you will come to me.

The Wait

I know this is absolutely illogical but a human cannot help it.

My heart is filled with love. I have no words to express my longing.

Do not even know why or how I came to love you… but I miss you terribly, my love.

I think about you all day and yet this thirst is never met by any worldly experience.

I could clearly relate to this bhajan (devotional song) and understand Meera and her love for the Supreme.

 
Piya itni binati suno mori 
Suno mori mori
Piya itni binati suno mori...
Aur nahi raas batiya karata ho
Humse rahen Chitchori
Tuma bina mere aur na koi
Mein sharanagata tori..tori
Iti binati suno mori..

Awaan kahen gaye aajhun na awaye
Dibas rahen gayei thori
..dibas rahe gayei thori
Meera ke prabhu kabar milo gein
Araz karu kargori ..karjori
Araz karu kargori
Piya itni binati suno mori...

“My dearest please honor my earnest entreaty.. my prayer
I do not hear your sweet emotional words anymore
You, the one who stole my heart, are away from me
Without you, I have no one else
I surrender to you with all my faith and devotion

You promised you will come 
So I am waiting for you even now
The sun is on the horizon and the day is about to be done..”
Meera is beseeching her Lord to know when she can meet Him
Her hands are joined together in obeisance

BIG MISTAKE!

I realized, again today (after several years), that forgiving is what we do for our own benefit. It is real easy to get caught up in pointing out somebody’s fault. It’s so tempting that sometimes you can’t even help it. But every time, that marks the beginning of my fall. I lose my calm, my sense of well being and finally, even feel depressed. It funny how the fault morphs and rolls slowly and surely into my court and I cannot feel so great about myself, anymore.

I was a little surprised that I could do that even to people I know I loved dearly. And even though I might not have uttered a word it somehow gets across to the person that I am judging him or her. And people don’t like being judged. In all honesty, I forget that it is not proper to judge people based on apparent facts along with the assumptions that our mind hastily forms. Sometimes it is hardly enough data to make a judgment on their intrinsic intelligence or their inherent goodness. Time and again, additional facts have proved that most people, if not all, are good and intelligent but their areas of excellence are different.

The world, we live in, is the world we create for ourselves. If we are able to see beauty, intelligence and love around us, we can become a part of it too. Fault-finding and negative-ness originates from our mind, when the latter is not clear, easy and happy. Goodness is omnipresent; we need the eyes to see, the heart to feel it and the brains to understand it. So, no wonder I feel small when I cannot resist the temptation to find some mistake in others. My self esteem in turn plummets and I keep wondering how could I have done better? The answer is simple though hard to execute. ‘Forgive and let go.”

The process of forgiving and letting go is an ineffable personal journey… 

Interestingly, we need to forgive ourselves too.