This is the first lesson to learn: be determined not to curse anything outside, not to lay the blame upon anyone outside, but stand up, lay the blame on yourself. You will find that is always true. – Swami Vivekananda
When I chanced upon the above lines at a tender age of nineteen, I was devastated. I could neither accept the idea nor completely reject it. How could I proceed towards the right if I was wrong? But I had tremendous respect for Swami Vivekananda and had faith that there was some truth to this heart rending statement.
It took many years and many incidents to truely imbibe in me the importance of this handy idea. Sometimes it seems that “life” is a long journey that keeps unfolding new information to us.
An interesting idea was communicated in a movie about extreme sports, Point Break. “Everyone will die. The question is how and when ?” Is life a pursuit to find this answer?
With time, I became a mother. What a mother knows, after her unique experience of childbirth is hard for a teenager to even imagine. It is challenging to explain those realities to an adolescent girl. Reasoning with my teenager, one day, it became clear to me that I had a lot of room to grow, in the area of communication. In spite of my best efforts, I was misunderstood. This made me frustrated.
I had found the biggest flaw in my personality. This was how I reacted to frustrating situations. What I did when I was upset?
- Put the blame on another person
- Put the blame on oneself
- Put the blame on fate
- Lose the love in one’s heart
- Fear/lack of trust in surrounding
Trying to understand this clearly has taken many years. Conquering this flaw will be a whole new adventure.
What should I try to do when I am upset:
- Forgive the other person – it is their shortcoming
- Forgive oneself – it is our shortcoming
- Trust my fate – God is just
- Never lose the love in one’s heart
- Never fear what is coming – Misery is not permanent
What is actually happening from a different perspective:
The magician challenges the core assumptions in our mind. If the mind keeps believing in them, then reality makes impossible and amazing things happen. The world is magic!
Even after so many years
Every day has a lesson
After shedding so many tears
Realized that I am blessed