I am just going to let me emotions go wild…

It is special bond that we have with our grandparents. When I remeber the loving moments shared and the enchanting stories they had related, it still makes my heart dance with joy. My grand mother often told me stories of the big house in Akhalia where my grandfather and his elder brother’s family stayed together long long ago.

They had a cowshed that had a glass basin draining the cow urine to fertilize the cauliflower patches in the huge vegetable garden, adjacent to the house. Several dozen servents worked at the house, which was built on 25 acres of land.

A few miles from their house, was situated a furniture factory called “Joytara Woodworks” that they owned. There was story of an enchanting boat ride on a moonlit night from the wood factory to their house over a canal from one of the tributaries of the Surma River.

Growing up in Kolkata, when I heard these stories, I was transported to a land of magic. I often wondered what is actually looks like today.

Last month, when a friend asked me where my paternal home was, I was not able to provide a concrete location of this magical place in the map. It bothered me so much that I decided to search out my roots.

Crazy winds – Rainy day

পাগলা হাওয়ার বাদল-দিনে
পাগল আমার মন জেগে ওঠে।।

Pagla hawar badal dine
Pagol amar mon jege othey
On a rainy day with crazy winds,
my whimsical mind wakes up from its slumber

চেনাশোনার কোন বাইরে যেখানে পথ নাই নাই রে
সেখানে অকারণে যায় ছুটে।।

Chenashonar kon baire, jekhane poth nai naire
Shekhane okarone jaye chhutey
Beyond the familiar corner, where there is no beaten path,
that is where she runs to, for no apparent reason.

ঘরের মুখে আর কি রে কোনো দিন সে যাবে ফিরে
যাবে না, যাবে না-
দেয়াল যত সব গেল টুটে।।
যাবে না, যাবে না…

Ghorer mukhe aar ki re, kono din shey jabey phire
jabe na , jabe na –
Deaal joto shob gelo tutey
jabe na, jabe na…
At this point, will she ever return, homeward?
Will not go, will not go –
All the walls have broken down.
Will not go, will not go..

বৃষ্টি-নেশা-ভরা সন্ধ্যাবেলা কোন বলরামের আমি চেলা
আমার স্বপ্ন ঘিরে নাচে মাতাল জুটে-
যত মাতাল জুটে।

Brishti-nesha-bhora sandhyabela kon balaramer ami chela
Amar swapno ghire nachey matal jutey-
Joto matal jutey.
On this rain-intoxicated evening,
wonder which demi-God she is devoted to.
Dancing drunkards circle around her dreams.

যা না চাইবার তাই আজি চাই গো,
যা না পাইবার তাই কোথা পাই গো।
পাব না, পাব না,
মরি অসম্ভবের পায়ে মাথা কুটে।।
পাব না, পাব না,

Ja na chaibar tai aaji chai go
Ja na paibar tai kotha pai go
Pabo na, pabo na,
Mori Ashambhaber paaye matha kute
Pabo na, pabo na..
It craves for things that should not be craved for
Where can she snatch away, what she was not meant for ?
Will not get, Will not get –
No matter how much she pleads with the Impossible.
Will not get, will not get

The song was later used in a (2006) Bengali movie Bong Connaction.


“If their encampment seems open to attack, then it is a trap ” – The Art of War

It is so easy to be tempted with “too good to be true” proposals. In-depth thinking , often, reveals the downside of the apparently lucky situations.

In another sense, any good situation by the material world standards, is essentially a trap for getting entangled in this sensory world.

Remind this word to your inner being, especially when all is well, from the outside!


Inner Battle


Please for once do not judge —
Have you never felt confused?
Tortured with an inner grudge,
Shattered, beaten and bruised?

Yes, I am that imperfect fool!
Clinging to my fragile world
Grabbing for any broken tool
My dreamboat sails, unfurled

In my fight against the storm
I am battered but breathing
Questioning the accepted norm,
When easy paths lie waiting.

Moving on with my open wound
Taking a fresh gulp of life
Ready to escape when marooned
Into the scary depths, I dive.
Laying my cards on the table
Although I realize, I will die.
My values are non-negotiable,
Will live with a head held high.

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